Making Friends... Again... and Again

By Margarita Gokun Silver

“The things we know best are the things we haven’t been taught.”
-- Vauvenargues

One of the biggest characteristics of the expatriate experience, and particularly of the repeat expatriate experience, is the necessity of making friends over and over again. You move, you get used to where you are, you meet people you like, develop friendships, and get settled. Before you know it, however, it may be time to move again and you start the entire cycle all over. The first days, weeks, or even months in the new place often feel lonely and frustrating as you try to not only figure out life but also struggle with small or non-existent support network. What are some ways you can help yourself create that network and keep creating it as you go from country to country (or even if you stay where you are)?

First, look at the whole experience of having to make friends as an opportunity rather than a hurdle. You get to explore what's out there. Your old friends are wonderful, of course, but if you have not moved you would have missed the ones you are going to meet. And you never know what awaits you in the future. You may meet someone who will inspire you to write a book, someone who you may partner with to develop a successful business, someone who is a great coffee companion, or … the list can go on and on. When you look at this experience as a possibility rather than a difficulty you have to overcome, it becomes a much easier process to start.

Second, manifest. We all manifest what we want although we sometimes don't realize it. Start by writing down your concerns and fears about finding the support you need. That will help empty your mind of the limiting thoughts that may be blocking you moving forward. Then manifest who you want to meet by writing down what kind of friend(s) you are looking for. What do you want your new friend(s) to have? How do you want them to be? Let the universe know what you are looking for.

Third, spring into action. Now that the universe knows what you want, it's time for you to do your part. And your part is what dependent on you – the actions you can take to get what you want. Go to every meeting, every get together, and every gathering you can. After all, you never know who you are going to meet there. Yes, it could turn out to be a complete waste of time but you would not know that if you didn't go. Every meeting out there carries with it a new possibility.

Life is always offering us new beginnings, it's up to us if we want to act on them or not. We can choose to stay by sidelines waiting for things to happen to us or we may choose to be active and seek out every opportunity. Only by experiencing new things you will know what resonates and what's in harmony with who you are.

Good luck!
Margarita